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Friday, July 29, 2005


todae.. derrick came to the forum to chat wiif us... sho happii yahx... waited ferr him the whole morniin... but he did norrt cum.. till around 7 plus.. he came to the forum and chat wiif us... hehex... whole morniin chat wiif jiie... till derrick came, we chat wiif derrick together.. a pity he can't give us his email... hahax.. the producer say can't.. well, i wun force him.. i noe he can't...


derrick told us he will be singiin old song ferr his nxt performance... and he asked us ferr suggestions... hahax.. alot of the people in the forum first thing ishh asked derrick, wat type of singer u prefer and wat song u like? jiie too... but miie... i'm different... i didn't asked derrick that question.. dunnoe why moii mind just strike this song when derrick asked ferr any suggestions... sho i juz told derrick without any hesitation.. and i juz said derrick sing yue liang dai biao wo de xin.. u will strike de.. believe miie... den after awhile, many ppl see liao den they all agreed lorhx... den derrick see all those msg lerhx den he replied thanks ferr ur suggestions... hehex.. den he went off lerhx...


den i juz bid him goodbye lorhx.. den after that i think will derrick sing the song i suggested? hehex.. cosh i oso dunnoe why moii mind juz struck that song.. and den it ishh becosh derrick ishh good in singiin sadies song and memorable de.. juz coincidental that yue liang dai biao wo de xin ishh the best ferr him!!! and most importantly he can express his sadness ferr wei choong and leon, his two buddies that were booted out... and his eagerness that he want them back.. sho i juz suggested derrick that song... verii happii many ppl supported moii idea... anxious to noe wat derrick will be singiin yahx.. hopefully ishh the song i suggested.. kekex...


hmmmx.. after that den went offline liao.. i think that's all lerhx.. let's wait to see whether derrick will be singiin yue liang dai biao wo de xin bahx.. derrick rawks moii world!!!


_.:^"^:._ wishiin f0r miracles t0 happen _.:^"^:._

Jeannie was here @

9:00 PM

Thursday, July 28, 2005


hmmmx... todae was the result ferr the superstar lerhx... sho sad niia... wei choong was out.. realli verii sad... i cried the whole night ferr wei choong!! realli verii sad to hear he was out.. it's unbelievable lorhx... all becosh of jason... realli.. he's too much lerhx.. get rid of leon norrt enuf.. now wan to get rid of wei choong...


no matter how hard i compare, jason ishh far too behind of wei choong lerhx... wei choong ishh much much much much betta den him!! if it's norrt derrick, he will be the superstar lorhx!! wei choong... realli sad ferr yahx... i cried till moii eyes swollen lerhx... i noe u oso feel sad... u oso feel shocked... i can see from ur expression... realli.... dun be sad lerhx k.. and dun give up ur talent on music k... i noe u can de.. u gorrt the talent and potential... it's norrt u lose to jason.. it's ur supporters lose to jason.. includiin miie.. i admit defeat..


but wei choong.. niid norrt scared.. jason will NEVER be the superstar de... i can guarantee that.. u dun be sad lerhx k... there's always another chance... i noe u can de... i will be waitiin ferr ur nxt performance... singapore idol? u rawks k... muz take good care... realli felt sad ferr yahx...


nothiin much lerhx... juz come here to update ferr wei choong de... dun wan to see him being sad lerhx... i guess derrick cried ferr u too... he was stunned... so was miie... he shaked his head.. so am i... i believe u are betta den jason.. it's norrt a bit.. it's always!!! sho much take care k.. derrick will help u to fulfil ur dreams de... dun be sad lerhx k... happi ferr derrick... he ishh in!! wei choong muz take care of urself yahx...


_.:^"^:._ wishiin f0r miracles t0 happen _.:^"^:._

Jeannie was here @

12:30 AM

Wednesday, July 27, 2005


[ 23.07.05 ]~~
wohoo~~ todae early in the morniin rong [ jiie ] called.. asked miie wan go media corp norrt?? den i gorrt a shock lorhx.. cosh i noe todae we gonna go find derrick!! but i didn't expect tt she will ask us go mediacorp.. cosh derrick ishh at mediacorp lorhx.. den i say okiex.. den after hand down the phone rush to bathe den go out le...


den took taxi down mediacorp lorhx.. den jiie de frenx called rush us.. say they saw weii jian [ derrick ] le.. omg!! i'm faintiin liao.. but we gorrt no chance lehx.. cosh tt stoopid driver larhx.. drive sho slow.. den waste the time onlii... den when we reach mediacorp, derrick go in liao.. haiix... sad... but neber mind...


den wait lorhx.. many ppl there niia... hahax... the maxi cab we book came liao... den we wait in the maxi cab lorhx.. saw sho many actors and actresses... hahax.. michelle and belinda sho chio niia.. hahax... derrick betta.. hahax... den lata wait till 2.30 den the 10 superstars came out lorhx.. sho off we go le.... all those at j8 de sure wait till seow lorhx.. from morniin wait till now... hehex... den lata we reach j8 liao... wah lao.. the crowd horx.. buay tahan lehx... sho squeezy and hot siia... den the queue long till can't see derrick.. but neber mind larhx.. cosh i get to see derrick more... den lata 15 mins onli they stay there.. den lata we rush back to the cab and went to chase derrick agaiin...


den in the cab we laugh and joke together lorhx.. den chat wiif derrick oso... he let us took many of his pics siia.. sho cute lorhx... den he pose ferr us somemore... hahax.. sho cute niia... den lata we use handsign to chat wiif him niia... i showed him wat i wrote in moii book mahx.. i wrote derrick rawks!! den i take a pen wan us him sign.. den he reply sorrie... no time... den i say neber mind larhx... den after that i still use handsign to communicate wiif him.. i told him i will call and vote ferr him de.. den he show miie a good handsign.. den he smile.. omg!! sho cute lorhx.. faint liao... den lata he cough niia... haiix.. heartbroken arhx.. den lata i guess he sick liao lorhx... he oso norrt enuf slp niia... cosh i caught him slpiin in the bus!! sho cute lorhx... den i point and say WEI JIAN 'U'RE SLEEPING!!' den he reply by usiin handsign agaiin.. he say ya lorhx.. den he make his eyes close... hahax... sho cute!!


den after that we wrote msgs on a board mahx.. gorrt ppl bring whiteboard... den can communcaite wiif wei jian.. cosh derrick lyke ah mei mahx.. so ask him c ah mei happy mahx.. den he smile lorhx.. hahax.. den lata saw their car wai le den wrote u all de car wai liao muz careful... den ruth in front of wei jian [ derrick ]!! den she shock to see it lorhx.. den derrick saw le more shocked!! and guess wat derrick did? he use handsign and say in front ruth mahx.. she plump sho the car will wai lorhx.. omg!! that's sho cute lorhx.. hahax... omgomgomg!! i'm faintiin liao... den lata we ask derrick go slp... reach liao den call him.. cosh from j8 to z-pop quite long mahx... den lata he slp lorhx.. leon beside him mahx.. den he oso slp.. he lean on derrick's shoulder.. leon verii gud worx.. a veri jiang yi qi de buddy.. although he out le, but he still accompany wei jian... realli good buddy worx.. happi ferr derrick...


den lata reach z-pop liao mahx.. den derrick they all go up lorhx.. den we chase.. hahax... erm they sang lao shu ai da mi... hahax... den after tt awhile they go back liao.. sho we continued to follow lorhx.. on the way back ask him cum take vitagen and voda voda from us... den he say cannot.. no time... haiix... fill so sad ferr him... muz rush till like tt... heartpain niia... den silver saw our voda voda she laugh veri loudly lorhx.. hahax.. she oso pose ferr us to take pics ferr her lorhx... sho cute right? hahax... den lata they go back mediacorp liao... den it's time ferr us to leave liao... cosh they will be haviin a meetiin mahx.. and it will end till quite late de.. sho forget it lorhx... den we told the maxi uncle we gonna go back liao.. den ask him send us back...


den lata we reach causeway point mahx.. hungry liao.. one whole day haven eat anythiin yet... sho busy chasiin derrick lorhx... sho rch cwp liao go yoshinoya eat... den miie, jiie [ rong ] and rh chat together lorhx... den after that nowhere to go mahx.. den go walk walk lorhx.. den rh and miie suggest go cathay... den go lorhx.. den after that saw [ da jiie ] lorhx.. omg!! luck ishh wiif us todae lorhx... saw all 10 superstars liao... den here still sho lucky.. kekex.. den took pics wiif [ da jiie ]... get her signature oso... sho happii niia... den chat wiif da jiie ahwile lorhx.. den lata she and her fren wan go eat dinner liao mahx... den we end our conversation lorhx... da jiie sho chio lorhx... da jiie and derrick rawks!! hehex... muz jia you worx.. kekex...


den lata we walk everywhere lorhx.. sho happi to see da jiie... den after that nowhere go liao go civic de mac... den go eat ice-cream.. jiie treat... den chat agaiin... sho happi lorhx.. realli enjoyed this day lorhx.. moii most memorable day wiif derrick... derrick, thnx ferr giviin miie this day!! den lata chat finish liao nothiin else to do le sho go home lorhx...


I LOVE THIS DAY LOTS!! [ 23.07.05 ] ishh moii most memorable day of moii life!!
thnx ferr giviin miie this day, derrick!!
U MUZ JIAYOU K!!
I WILL SUPPORT U ALWAYS DE!!


and todae [ 27.07.05 ] derrick's performance was splendid lorhx.. i think he did betta den junyang!! hehex... i called and vote niia... realli hope he will be in!! cosh there's no revival round anymore le... and i noe that derrick leaves msgs in the forum worx.. and u noe wat? and in his msg, he wrote :
hi again..third time le..cos me,kelly and weicong here at studios waiting for our perfromance to be showed as it is no live telecast..u all so cute,thks for all the praises u all have given me..like beverly and Jeannie and much more fans out there..i sneak my friend's laptop to leave a msg..i addicted to leaving msgs le..although i have a busy schedule..i try and read the msgs k?sorry if i didn give u all my hotmail cos(the producer say cannot)..that's the end and BYE

hahax... sho sweet right? derrick u rawks man!! u realli rawks moii life!! continue to stay cute k!!
and jiayou!! dun give up!! cosh i'm always here to support ya and accompany u till the end!!
DERRICK, IN MY HEART U ARE MY SUPERSTAR!! U RAWKS MY LIFE!! U RAWKS!!!


_.:^"^:._ wishiin f0r miracles t0 happen _.:^"^:._

Jeannie was here @

5:24 PM

Friday, July 15, 2005


Hmmmx.. all right.. i'm back to update agaiin... haiix... it's juz another week that had past easily... sounds verii scary right? verii soon i'll be haviin moii prelims le.. think it's around 3 weeks time bahx.. u think the time left ishh enuf ferr mie? obviously no!! haiix.. say bout N level, hu norrt scared? everyone ishh scared... especially miie... i realli afraid i cannot promote to secc 5 lorhx.. if i get into ITE, u all will neber get to see miie agaiin.. cosh i cannot accept the fact that i fail moii N level.. but realli hope this ishh norrt true!!


i've been haviin test all this long since school reopens... and it realli makes miie fustrated... everyday do till sian.. cumiin up gorrt mock exams.. haiix.. verii tiring arhx.. but wat to do? wan to score good grades mahx.. sho muz practice lorhx... haiix... and sho todae sch verii early end le.. happii.. fri always verii early de.. heex.. but the timetable change till berii sian lorhx.. all the periods i will feel bored and slp de.. [ esp: geog ]!! hahax... todae pe lesson didn't play much.. cosh i muz retake the shuttle run.. haiix.. siian... but it's fun.. i saw his frenx.. [ 3/6 [ de.. dunnoe wat name.. but always wiif him.. he oso quite funny arhx.. hahax... joke alot wif xu bin bahx.. kekex..


hmmmx... juz nw, the rain was verii heavy worx.. i wanted to go home de.. cosh i tired niia.. den after sch mr roy dunwan let us go off.. muz complete the personal speech den can go.. haiix.. den when i want to step out of the school, it began to rains... haiix.. y neber wait till miie reach bus-stop den rain.. haiix... sad niia.. den muz walk back to school lorhx.. den lata go find jiie and chat.. den after 10-15 miins, the rain stop le.. sho happii... den miie go home liao lorhx...


den after that, walk out of school, saw him lorhx... actually saw his frenx first de.. erm secc 3 joan de stead bahx... den lata saw him lorhx.. den think he neber saw miie bahx.. the more i see him the more i will walk faster... haiix... dun wan to face him... dun dare and dun wish to oso.. i dun wish to get hurt anymore le.. the wound ishh verii deep le.. muz take a veri long time to heal.. i juz hope i'll get out as soon as possible sho that i will norrt be sho miserable... haiix...


den horx.. when i walk home halfway horx, it began to rain agaiin lorhx... wah laox... bluff miie feeliin agaiin... haiix... why neber wait miie reach home liao den rain? but i still continue walkiin in the rain lorhx... mon [ 11.07.05 ], oso walk home in the rain wiif eve... verii fun lorhx... i love the rain... cosh it can wash away moii troubles and unhappiness... and nobody will noe i'm cryiin... sho i continue walkiin home lorhx... heck care all those people hu kiip lukiin at miie... hmmmx.. all right, i wish al those hu ishh takiin N & O levels/ prelims good luck worx.. of cosh the secc 3s oso... especially him...


hmmmx... all the best to ya niia... remember i'm always here ferr ya...


_.:^"^:._ wishiin f0r miracles t0 happen _.:^"^:._

Jeannie was here @

3:40 AM

Tuesday, July 12, 2005


haiix.. verii long no use this colour le.. blue.. moii favourite colour.. and oso orange!! blue and orange RAWKS!! thiss two colours represent miie... moii feeliin, moii mood and moii temper... time passes realli fast... juz a bliink of eyes, i'm in secc 4 le.. haviin moii N this yr... juz had moii oral yesterday... and that oral totally sux man!! realli verii sux!! the picture description was damn tough!! sho little things to tok about... and den i kiip shiveriin.. haiix... the examiner ask qns muz repeat herself... die liao lorhx... but cannot blame miie mahx... it was rainiin lorhx... den she speak sho soft... how can listen? haiix... den the thunder struck onlii, moii mind blank already siia... haiix... sad... oral sure die de lorhx...


den lata conversation oso dunnoe wat i tokiin... all anyhow blurt out... haiix... if i am takiin the musical instrument de sure gud lorhx.. haiix... but wat done cannot be undone le... sho forget it lorhx... now muz workk harrd ferr prelims le.. it's juz 20 more days lorhx...time realli pass verii fast... now i'm runniin out of time le... sho muz realli make use of the remainiin time to buck up... i already missed once duriin moii psle... i regretted... i regretted norrt puttiin in much effort and that's why i end up in N.A stream... sho i dunn wish to miss once more.. i dunn wan to go ITE!! i wan to promote to secc 5.. i wan to aim ferr JC... can i? [ if there's a will, there's a way]... i hope i realli can make it... being in the top 10 ishh wat i always aim ferr!! hope that day will cum thru...


tests have been on recently... esp e-maths.. realli cannot afford to make any careless mistakes.. cosh thats the most important subject i'm aimiin ferr.. moii most confidence subject i'm aimiin ferr an A1... and moii chi and a-maths.. these 3 subjects i'm aimiin ferr an A1... sho muz kiip on practice.. but realli afraid of moii a-maths.. dunnoe whether i can cope anot... those qns seems sho tough de... haiix.... everythiin seems so contradictory... realli realli hope i am able to promote to secc 5...


bout bgr.. i've given up hope le... but i've norrt given up on him... i dunn pin ferr any more hopes on him le... i juz wan to concentrate on moii studies now... cosh whether i am able to promote to secc 5 juz see miie le... and i wann to workk harrd... sho i've chosen moii path le... although it's a verii painful decision, but i will endure it de.. i will strive till the end de... once this toture ishh over, moii future will norrt be sho miserable anymore... i dunn wish ferr more.. juz by seeiin u happi, i will be happii too...


[ a message ferr euu ]:

promise miie that u will study harrd...
promise miie that u will norrt go to the wrong path...
promise miie that u will norrt hurrt miie anymore...
promise miie that u will norrt give miie anymore hints...
promise miie that u will promote to secc 4 nxt yr...
promise miie that u will be a good student...
promise miie that u will strive hard...
promise miie that u will get good results..
promise miie that u will find ur happiness asap...
promise miie that u will be as happy as ever...

[ this will be the day that i will leave wiif no worries and walk into moii happiness without u ]...


no matter wat happens, moii love ferr u will neber stop...
cosh moii feeliins ferr u ishh too deep le..
i'm juz hopiin that u will norrt go into the wrong path...
pls promise miie to be as good as the secc 1 u...
and pls study harrd ferr ur future...


pls take gud care of urself... i will always be there ferr ya if u niid miie....


_.:^"^:._ wishiin f0r miracles t0 happen _.:^"^:._

Jeannie was here @

5:38 PM

Monday, July 11, 2005


all right... i'm here to update agaiin lorhx.. haiix... as usual have to go to sch in the morniin.. siian... but due to some reasons... which i can't say it at here... i saw him early in the morniin... walkiin out from the canteen... and den he see miie he walk back to the canteen... wat ishh this? can u stop fooliin miie le? I'm verii tired le.. everytiime i wan to forget u, u appear.. everytime i wan to let go u gave miie hints.. or watsoever which i dunnoe... wat are u tryiin to tell miie? can u juz tell miie once and ferr all... I'm realli verii tired le.. I dunn have the energy and strength to walk down this miserable road alone anymore...

somehow i reallii feel it's norrt worth doiin sho much thiings ferr euu... but wat to do.. ai yi ge jiu shi zhe yang de... u wun noe wat u are doiin... cosh love ishh blind.. If u love that person juz let him go... cosh it's no point wantiin him to stay beside u but his heart ishh norrt wiif u... but most importantly ishh if u have found ur happiness, pls pls pls treasure it properly... dunn like miie now.. dun even noe wat i'm doiin now... watever i'm doiin ishh useless de... ishh nothiin de.. cosh he wun noe... sho wat if he noes? will he still like miie? haiix... forget it bahx... I'm realli tired le... pls pls pls dunn make a fool of miie anymore.. i dun wish to be the foolish miie anymore... i realli wan to give up le.. I'm tired le... no point i'm here sufferiin and u there enjoyiin urself...

everytiime u mix around wiif the giirls i will feel veri sad.. veri heartbroken... but i learn to forgive and forget.. I onlii regret if that time i tell u moii xin li hua.. we wun be like that anymore... I juz have to blame myself ferr norrt sayin out... If i did maybe thiings will norrt happen to be like this le... but it's over le... since secc 1 till now.. It's been 3 and a half years le... i dunnch noe how long can i still wait... but although i say i give up le, but i still realli hope that u will turn back... cosh i'm always here waitiin ferr euu!! waitiin ferr u to say u niid miie... tat will be the day i'm waiitiin ferr...

realli realli wish that that day will cum thru... realli hope u wun disappoint miie... moii frenx told miie to be more yong gan... and i think they're right.. i muz stay strrong... I muz norrt cry anymore le... DIE DAO LE JIU YAO PA QI LAI!! [ sho wo hui yong gan de jian chi xia qu!! Bu guo wo yao rang ni zhi dao, wo shi bu hui bian xin de!! Wo Hui Yong Yuan De Deng Zhe Ni ]...

ferr now i dare norrt pin on anythiin but juz hope that moii academics will improve.. I will now concentrate on moii studies le... It's aprox 20 more days to moii prelims... sho i will work harrd ferr it de... say ishh useless muz make some effort... sho i think it's time ferr miie to stop le...


!!~~ No matter wat happens, I'm always here ferr ya ~~!!


_.:^"^:._ wishiin f0r miracles t0 happen _.:^"^:._

Jeannie was here @

7:25 PM

Tuesday, July 05, 2005


I guess it has been a verii long time i haven been updatiin moii blog le!! the last time i update moii blog was 21st of june if i'm norrt wrong!! Haiix... time passes so fast niia... last month was june! and we were suppose to have fun duriin our holidays!! but seriously sayiin, i dunn thiink i had any fun duriin june holidays... first two weeks cum back ferr intensive.. den 3rd week muz do all those holidays assignments!! den 4th week muz do revision... u say do i have time ferr enjoyment? time realli pass verii fast... In a blink of eyes, i'm secc 4 now.. all moii frenx too... and i'm haviin moii 'N' Levels verii soon... juz 6 more days to moii N level oral... and 1 more month to moii prelims... omg! time ishh realli norrt enuf... guess i reallii niid to buck up le... no more of goiin our ferr shoppiin, movies and playiin...

so much things have happen recently... i dunn wish to say it here... juz wan to keep it in moii heart... bout bgr... i'm realli tired le! I'm realli tired of walkiin down the miserable road alone... moii heart ishh totally worn out le.. i dunn have the energy anymore.. wat am i suppose to do? I said i wan to forget him... but ishh it so easy? If it's so easy, i wunn be sho miserable right now... and of cosh i cried yesterday agaiin... i can't get to sleep... i ask rong ferr help.. i msg her... i felt realli heartbroken! I'm such a failure, aren't i? I can't even open moii mouth to tell him... I felt that i dun have the courage to talk to him anymore... I felt that my heart is dead le.. ishh numb le.. love him too much till numb le... i oso dunnoe wat's i'm doiin...

I dunnoe wat am i suppose to do now... can anyone tell miie wat to do? I've thought carefully thru' yesterday night le.. i decided to give up le.. after 4 years of waitiin... I give up le... reallii dun have the strength le... I decided to go solo le... I wan to gain back moii freedom... I wan to be the cheerful miie... The girl that u see everyday smiliin ishh norrt de miie... I had to do that sho that all the people around miie wunn worry ferr miie... but in my heart, it's bleediin, i'm cryiin... do anybody noes that? everyone tot i'm verii cheerful... verii relax... but hu reallii noes wat i'm feeliin... i guess no one will noes.... inside moii heart, it's bleediin profusely... the wound ishh too deep le.. will it becum a scar that can neber be healed? It's an unresolved question...

todae i went school wiif a verii bright smile on moii face... juz to let everyone noes i'm fine... but actually norrt... i saw him.. guess he saw miie too... i juz chat verii happily wiif moii twin sista... act as if nothiin happens.. somehow i noe he's been eyeing on miie... but i juz act as if i dunnoe... i walk pass him back and fourth and would like to see wat's his reaction... but still can be wat lehx? assembly time, recess time and lining up at hall time, i have been noticing him.. stariin at him.. if he have the same aspirations wiif miie, he will luk at miie too... but i dun think so... verii disappointed of course!!
and after school, he went up to the fourth level... juz as i was about to walk down the staircase, i saw him... he was caught by moii relief tcher ferr his shirt.. he gave excuses and wanted to ran away... but too bad the teacher scolded him... that teacher sux to the core... i hated her since last year... tot that i wun see this teacher agaiin... but sho SWAY!! she still scold him... make miie more hate her!! such a BITCH!! moii mummy support miie help miie scold her... that bloody bitch!! asshole... get away from my sight... seeing u onlii wan to make miie PUKE!! arrrggghhh!!! den he tuck in 3-4 times cosh the tcher wasn't happy.. den the last time he tuck in he snub back at the tcher and say 'LIKE THAT OK'? I felt happy.. cosh i hate that tcher too... hahax.... and so i walked down to the canteen...
Den norrt long lata, he oso came out... was lukiin ferr him... and finally i saw him... i dunnoe whether he saw miie... but i guess he did... i still remember that time his frenx push him to bang miie... haiix... was realli a sad story... and it's a long story and i dun wish to say... juz wanna kiip it in moii heart... den i rmb last week we were released from hall back to class after recess... moii class and his class walk together... juz side by side... he was verii close to miie... juz like last time he walk so close to miie and was pushed by his frenx to bang miie... that feeliin juz came back... and it realli hurts miie... the nearer he comes to miie the more i'm beiing hurrt... i realli wanted to tok to him... but i juz can't open moii mouth... i didn't even dare to luk at him... i juz act and pretend and tok to moii frebx... well it's realli a sad case, cosh it's such a good opportunity... haiix... but juz forget it bahx..
This ishh the second week of school reopen le... as i've said, time passes sho fast!! i think i reallii ought to stop le... I'll give up on him le... I will be as strrong as Jiie de.. i will stand up as soon as possible de... I will norrt add any other burdens to people around hu concern bout miie... I will norrt let myself be unhappy anymore... I'll juz let nature takes it's course... whatever cums juz let it cums and whatever goes let it goes... all right i dun wish to say anymore le.. I'll juz end here... Sadness filled inside moii heart, bleediin everywhere...


_.:^"^:._ wishiin f0r miracles t0 happen _.:^"^:._

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5:27 PM