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Sunday, June 12, 2005


todae jiie fu came find moii... norrt in person... but juz in friendster... he asked moii bout jiie and jun feng... haiix... i feel sad ferr jiie fu... cosh i noe jiie's heart cannot forget him... cosh he was her first love... and he gave her sho much happy memories... but oso gave her sho much hurts and pains... and thiis ishh wat i worry bout jiie... i noe she sacrifice to let him go de... she didn't mean to hurt him de... realli... but he doesn't even have a heart... knowiin a giirl can sacrifice sho much ferr u... can u sense somethiin or norrt..? are u a guy...? unless u dun like moii jiie aniimore le... den i have nothiin to say... but i noe u still like moii jiie de... it's onlii u dunnch dare to say out onlii... u scare those hurts and pains will repeat... but trust moii... somethiings can never revive back once u lost it... she didn't meant to let u go de... if she didn't let u go, u wuld norrt have sho much freedom now le... think urself, if a girl can sacrifice sho much ferr u, wat does it mean? she was oso hurt too... but she ishh wu xin de.. sho it's realli up to u to decide now le...


and jiie fu... moii present jiie fu... ferr u no worries k... he ishh already the past ferr moii jiie le... u are her present and future boyfriiend... whether she can forget him or norrt ishh up to u le... see how u can help moii jiie forget thiis miserable place... realli realli wiish everythiing ishh fine... no matter wat, juz wan to tell xu bin, there's always moii here to help u... sho aniithiin juz cum find moii k... no worries....


actually u noe wat... moii case ishh juz like jiies... she waiited ferr him since sec one... moii too... she falls in love wiif him at our chinese lesson wiif juz one glance... and it's oso same wiif moii... i always noe how to help others... but i dunnoe how to help myself... why am i like that..? why am i living in a miserable life...?


i still remember how i fall in love wiif him de.. since that day... duriin chi lesson, i sat behiind hiim... we were like sho close frenx... realli... we laugh, joke and chat together de... i still gave him a nick.. [ si xiao jie ]... haiix... i dunnoe whether he remember anot... but i will always remember it de... we were like almost sho close de lorhx... once i asked him hu he like... he didn't dare to answer... sho i bluff him and told him i noe hu u like le... den his reaction was like sho anxious... and he asked hu? how u noe? i juz say of cuz i noe... den he quickly ask moii to say... but i juz delay... i anyhow say out one person name.. den he heard tt i say it was moii... sho he say u..? i say seow... den his reaction was a bit sad... i dunnoe whether he ishh giviin moii any hints or norrt... and after chii lesson, recess time... i walk out wif him... he juz walk beside moii... and den his frens push him to bang moii... wat is this..? some hints? his frenx noe someone ishh beside him and yet they still push him to bang moii...


wat are all this..? hints..? sorrie i realli dunnoe... i didn't catch ur hints... i regret... realli regret... if time can turn back, i definately will tell u i like u... but it doen't... why? why did he retain... everythiin juz go on sho happily... but why muz he retain..? from the day he retain, everythiin ishh gone... moii happiness ishh ruined... moii dreams wiif him ishh crushed! i hate this! i regret... but wat's the use of regretting..? time cannot be turn back...


every niight i lie on moii bed, can't get to sleep... tears juz kept falliin down... it juz flows non-stop... how can i possibly forget him... i wish too... but i can't... after 3 yrs of waiitin le... [ i'm still waitin ]... if i can, i will norrt be sho miserable le... i see all those people na de qi fang de xia... but i'm norrt... i can't... am i too silly?? waiitin ferr a day that can never be cum true... but recently, i dreamt... in moii drreamlannd wiif him... those sweet and happy memories wiif him.. i realli can't bear to let him go... i dunnch noe whether he has a girlfriend now... but i noe i will never stop loving him... he cause moii to love him de... sho i will norrt forget him de... unless he stand in front of moii and tell moii to forget him... [ but i hope that day will norrt cum ]...


i realli wiish to noe... every morniin he sit at the staircase there ishh waitiin ferr hu..? ferr his girlfriend mahx?? or ish he giving moii hints agaiin?? or ishh it moii wishful thiiniing agaiin?? how could he possibly like moii le?? i'm sho ugly... but i realli hope he hasn't forget moii... [ looks does norrt matter riight? ] I hope to him, he thiinks thiis way, if norrt i realli dunnoe wat to do le... it realli breaks moii heart to see him wiif other giirls chatiin happily... it realli breaks moii heart... sometiime i control myself norrt to cry in front of him... wait till i go home den i cry everythiing out... gorrt lots of times when he walk pass moii, i realli wan to tell him i like him... but i dunnch have the courage... maybe becuz i noe in the end i will still get rejected... and hurts and pains are all wiif moii...


i realli wish to end thiis... but can i..? can i forget him? i dunnch noe... every niight how much tears i flow out... does he ever noe? i've fallen too deep into the well le... and now that i cannot climb out, i will remained in the well till the day, he personally cum and rescue moii... i realli realli wiish that this day will cum...
ke shi xi wang yue gao shing wang jiu yue da...
sho i juz hope that he will be happy and can find his happiness soon... cosh by seeing him happy, i will be happy too.... no matter how long it takes, i will still wait de....


_.:^"^:._ wishiin f0r miracles t0 happen _.:^"^:._

Jeannie was here @

7:54 PM